Love is essential in any marriage. When the love wanes, then it would seem like the marriage has lost its legs to stand on. Perhaps your are experiencing a serious lack or absence of love in your marriage and you are looking for ways to get back the love into the relationship. If this is the state that you are presently in, then you should try considering counseling to save the relationship. Or better still, try being your own counselor.
Some of you may be thinking this is a silly direction to take but just stop and think about it. This may be the best plan of action yet for you and your partner to resolve issues in your relationship. You and your partner are in the best position to analyze your situation as you two are the direct parties to it. Only you will be able to figure out what caused your relationship to break down and subsequently formulate solutions to save the relationship.
Most couples, when faced with a crisis in their relationship, usually let their emotions take control, marring their objectivity. If you and your partner can set aside these negative emotions, you will better be able to sort out your differences and decide on the best resolution to the problem to save the relationship.
Start by giving each other some space before talking about the issues, specially when the wounds are still fresh. Once you have individually sorted out your emotions and are ready to be objective about it, sit down and talk about it. Go back in time to identify what led to the conflict. Remember, at the start of your relationship, you both were filled with passion and zeal. You were brimming with love for each other. You were both filled with excited anticipation of what the future will bring. But at some point, all that was lost. Examining the past will enable you to identify what caused this.
Was it the day to day pressures of living that caused you to forget the passion? Have you committed sins of omission? Have you been giving enough to the relationship Touches Place in Communication or have you been constantly at the receiving end thus, making your partner feel that he or she has been at the losing end? Remember love is a two-way street. Have you two been so complacent because you have been together for so long, that you have forgotten the thing that brought you two together in the first place – the undying love that you professed for each other.
Ask yourself these questions and others that may be able to bring out the cause of your rift. It is only you and your partner who would know the answers to these. Getting to the root of the problem is key and once you are able to recognize the root, then you have taken the first big step to being your own counselor and be on your way to save the relationship.
Oftentimes it is the small irritants accumulated over time that cause the major rift between couples. Maybe you both were not sensitive enough to catch these and while they were still easier to control. In recognizing the root of the problem, you are able to thresh these out and eventually resolve them.
Try being your own counselor. After all, you and your partner are the major players in the relationship and are at the best position to define the problem and formulate a lasting resolution to it. Make the effort. As your own counselor, you can look at the problem at all angles. Solutions are more lasting when these are put together by the involved parties – you and your partner.
Finally, when you have come to an agreement, be willing to make changes if needed. It is only if you are willing to do your share to save the relationship will you be able to get back the love that you seemingly lost.